Scattered thoughts.


Organize, file, everything has a home, or a spot. The only problem is there’s no “spot” for everything.

So this blogging everyday is a bit tough. It’s time consuming for one. Quite frankly I can spend half the morning trying to figure out an eye catching “click” worthy title. I have so many things I want to say or vent I become a scatter brain and nothing is organized in my mind.

I wanted to blog about starting up an online business and the little struggles that I personally struggle with. Besides the typical driving people to your site. Because that can be a whole blog on it’s own.

I have all these (I think) great ideas. Let me just say first of all I never really put much thought into “having my own business” But then I got laid off. Not once, but twice. So the first job I got laid off from I had been there 10 years. We all knew it was a matter of time as THAT industry was slowly dying. But when that day came I was secretly freaking out. No job, no source of income. Yeah you get unemployment. But that’s NOT a job and it WILL end. However what I didn’t know was, BECAUSE we got a severance pay you CANNOT draw on your unemployment UNTIL your severance pay has ended accordingly. So I was with that company for ten years and my severance was 1 weeks pay for every year you was there. Not a bad severance pay. But that gave me a lump sum of about 2 months and 2 weeks pay. So I was “denied” unemployment at that particular time. BUT because I got that large sum I decided to get some major and much needed dental work done which took about 90% of my severance. Now I appealed the decision the unemployment office made explaining to them WITH paper work of why I needed the money they took from me the 10 years I worked. But still the answer was “denied”. However 6 weeks later I landed a job. full disclosure here. I was freaking out about loosing my previous job because I in fact have no SPECIFIC skills. Other than basic labor. I didn’t go to college, and spent most of my “working career” as a cashier or warehouse work.

As a cashier you can come accross MANY different types of people. There are some who are friendly and speak to others with a kindness. There are some who are just angry and you as a cashier just happen to be the one they go off on because the particular drink they wanted wasn’t available, so that ENTIRE day of disappointments is unleashed onto you. You have people who “because as the cashier” make one slight mistake they treat you with complete disrespect. Yet you have to keep smiling for the next customer no matter how badly the previous customer upset you. Now I used to be a pro at dealing with cantankerous customers, and moving on to the next one without skipping a beat. ( There goes the brain again I got stories for days on my life as a cashier) Other blogs for other days. I really should write these down. But I digress. But at this 10 year job I didn’t have to deal with other people just the few I worked with. So the thought of having to go back as a cashier really set my anxiety on high alert. However the job I landed 6 weeks later was in the energy industry. So no grumpy customers, just “training” a new boss 😂 Even THIS experience is a whole nother blog. To start with I have never worked in an industrial type job. It seemed as if they put more energy in safety than ACTUALLY doing work. BECAUSE of the emphasis on safety I was scared to death. I thought I’m gonna die because I will be the one to do something wrong. Can you imagine being on a job where you think at any given minute it could explode? I know some might have and know the feeling, but not everyone is in the energy industry. 😂.

Quick note about that energy job… I have to say MOST of the employees there was quite friendly. Meaning at the very least if they didn’t directly know you they would always smile and say good morning, or give you the good morning nod. And if ANYBODY seen you was struggling they would come and help out in any way they could.

Now with ALL that being said, it brings me to what I was initially going to blog about. To those of you who have stuck with me this far…..I thank you.

So I was laid off 14 months after I was hired. I got a small severance package. Basically one weeks pay with the days I physically worked. Now I knew I was going to work with a lay off in the air because I got a “heads up” from a coworker who was hired the same time I was. But I was ok with it. I decided I would go back to school. So since I was laid off a week before Thanksgiving ( which is my FAVORITE holiday) I thought I’ll go back to school after the first of the year. There is so much going on during the last 2 months of the year. So I waited, and by February I was back in school. Then there was all this talk about a virus. (Now I don’t watch the news, in fact I don’t even watch T.V.) So in all honesty I didn’t know much about the virus. So one morning while waiting for all the students to show up there was myself, our instructor and one other student. She asked what we thought about this virus. We discussed our thoughts on it, then it was time for class to begin. This was also our last day because the next week was our spring break. I didn’t know that the U.S.A was going to shut down. Now we are in a pandemic. (GREAT!😶) My first one. (aaaannd another blog for another time)

Sooo during this pandemic I have time……. time to think. I thought about so many things. But my mind kept going back to ” I need to work, but I don’t want to meet knew people” I hate that awkward beginning of a type of friendship. You have friends you hang out with and can be yourselves, and you have friends who are really just coworkers, but you get along and work well with them and ACTUALLY enjoy working with them. But this coworker friendship is ALWAYS awkward in the beginning because you don’t know what their personality is. Do they appreciate humor? Are they strictly work? Do they poke fun at themselves? Because I do. I beat myself up all the time. Of course not seriously. That’s just to eleviate the tension. I like humor. I like to laugh. It’s just something I might find funny will not be funny to the other person and NOW I’m the weird one.

So as I’m in lay off mode and in a shut dkwn to boot. I start thinking of ways to make a source of income. Just before I got laid off though I was teamed up with a clworket and having a conversation with him about his side jobs he does. Now this guy is a very nice gentleman. I enjoyed working with him and conversation with him. So he was talking about starting a T-shirt business. So in remembering our conversation I thought what if I started a gift baskets store. I could do this online and ship them. I had lots of Ideas for a gift basket.

  • 1. Spa gift basket
  • 2. Mothers day
  • 3. Fathers day
  • 4. Birthday
  • 5. House warming
  • 6. New baby
  • 7. New puppy or cat
  • 8. Valentine’s day
  • 9. Wedding

The list goes on. Then I started doing crafts, and I was like people might like these as gift ideas. Now I had already thought of a title for my…. “Gift basket shop” It was something lame like ” Bea’s Gift Basket” ( insert eye roll here) Then I was looking into HOW to sell online and be able to receive payments, and at the same time I was thinking of different things I could offer. In my research I came accross this thing called sublimation. OMG 😱 I was so very intrigued by it I became obsessed with learning more. I also came across this thing caled DTG ( WANT ONE!) Now at this point my mind is racing with ideas. First we need product. What pruduct? We need a printer (want DTG) We need shirts, we need sub ink we need designs. We need coffee cups Because who don’t like coffee mugs with a quote or design. Ok WHO don’t like coffee? I know there are people who don’t drink coffee. ( I just wonder… What’s wrong with them 😂 jk) but now I’m overwhelmed with this gift baskets idea and sublimation idea. AND still needing product for said ideas. But I love crafting. Oh and I need a platform to sell.

Sooo I start looking into websites and ecommerce sites and yet again overwhelmed with what to do,and HOW to do it. I spent hours looking at different sites ONLY to feel confused. You can’t play with a site and learn it and figure it out UNLESS you pay them FIRST. I went through at least 3 different ones before I settled on the one I have now. And even this one I’m struggling with. I am no code reader or writer I don’t know the first thing about designing, or customizing a template. So I have ecwid it’s a little choppy I don’t feel like it flows like it should. I don’t think it’s eye catching to make a “visiter” WANT to click on other aspects of the site. ( and that’s just the very small handful of people who by the grace of God) actually made it to my site.

Now the part that was actually on my mind to blog bout. Again I want to thank those who have stayed with me thus far on this blog. I REALLY appreciate y’all. So I wanted to talk about “starting a small business” in a small home. So a little back story. (Also another blog for another day and time) I was in a 15 year relationship with my sons dad. Long story short we didn’t work. I finally made a decision and moved on. I worked 2 jobs to make ends meet. I did well by myself ( me and my son) for a good 3 years. My brother and my mother lived together since my brother was single he took mom in. Then he lost his job. My son and I had just moved into a 2 bdr apartment. And another long story short they moved in with me and my son. This was supposed to be just until they get on their feet again. But we decided maybe it would be best if we all just stayed together and helped each other. So that’s what we did and its been about 13 years. So basically my brother and I share responsibility of taking care of mom. At this moment ( thank God) my brother is working. My sin has a job, but he only comes around on weekends because he moved to be closer to his job.

So basically we have 3 adults living in a 1124 square foot duplex. ( yes 1124 square foot) that is NOT a typo. It’s a 3bdr 2 bath. But very small.

Having small living quarters makes it tough to have storage or elbow room to have extra things and be able to maneuver with out looking almost like a hoarder. I have a few things needed to do my online shop, but not much of enventory. So to say. I want to make up some gift baskets and take photos, but theres no room for extra stuff. I have things stored in a tiny closet in the living room I have a small hall closet with items. I have my heat press IN my room. But the funniest thing of all……I have no sales. Grant it I have only been at it 5 months. I read articles up on articles about starting up a business with little to no money, so far…… All lies, they want you to buy THEIR book on how to start a business with no money. Now THEY have a business making money from people who want to START a business but have no money to start a business. And with the start of this pandemic, I bet they made a killing. 😶 so thanks again to all y’all who have stayed with this long read thus far.

I had the idea of having an actual store front. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 yeah huge laugh once I looked into that. So needless to say that avenue was shut down before it even had a chance. But I still think about it and imagine it. But I know the reality of it, so I don’t visit the idea often, or for long periods of time. But while I am thinking on things the idea of baking sweets come to mind and I start dreaming of a bakery. Then I ran across this thing called the Texas Cottage Laws. Turns out YOU CAN sell baked goods from your home, AND you can ship them AS LONG AS it’s within the state of Texas. Here we go again. With another business plan and idea. THEN there’s the side of my brain that says what are you doing?! You already have storage issues, where in the H. E. double L are you going to store baking supplies, packaging supplies and the pans to boot?! Yeah thats the negative Nelly she is my own worst enemy. I have all these great ideas but then Nelly talks me out of them. I guess because Nelly live in reality and I live in dream land. Ok I think I have blogged long enough. Again I really appreciate y’all for staying through this long read. I am plum tuckered out now. I’ll leave you to your devices. But could ya just leave a comment. Maybe take a look see what I have in my little shop I would greatly appreciate it.