Here we go again

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I believe I can see the future
‘Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
Then again, that might have been a dream I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
And I just do what I’m betold
I really don’t want them to come around, oh no. I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I’m happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend

This is lyrics to one of my favorite songs by Trent Reznor.

I don’t know the bands and artists from the 90’s and forward. But IN the 80’s, if I liked a band or an artist I was obsessed with knowing EVERYTHING I could about the band. But this song by Trent Reznor “fell” into my ear one day and as I listened to it, it touched on how I was feeling.

In that particular time I came across that song all I did was go to work everyday. 2 0’clock a.m. start, until finished. Go home eat, sleep and repeat. Years later now no job, trying to be a self employed person ( that’s an epic fail) because every day I look at my store stats and I MAY have one visitor. Of course I lie to myself and tell myself, you just need to find your niche. There are many things I’ve discovered that I can do, but the question is, WHAT is it the people in my demographic area are or audience WANT? What is it that will make them think “oh I would like that!” I had the great Idea to do gift baskets, coffee mugs, and hand crafted decorations. But it seems like it’s just a big flop. Epic fail.

To be honest most folks are in the same boat with this pandemic. Either they are unemployed, or their hours have been cut so the company they work for can stay afloat. I had a vision that THIS journey would allow me to stay home make a little income to carry my weight and still be able to take care of my mom. Which now brings to mind the old saying “you can’t have your cake and eat it too” or something to that effect. And don’t think I don’t see my frienemies peeping in on me now and again checking up on my failure. I SEE y’all.

Sometimes I am my own worst critic. I thought about selling sweets. So I started looking into what the laws and regulations are for doing that. I came across Texas Cottage laws. Turns out you can bake and sell AND ship certain foods from your home. But as far as shipping cookies and breads, you can ONLY ship in the state of Texas. There’s a list of what items are allowed, and for the most part as long as they are not temperature sensitive foods you are allowed to cook them in your kitchen and sell, or ship them. I also would have to list the ingredients, and inform the “client” that this was baked in an UN-inspected kitchen.

But, and here I go again. Shooting the idea down before it even had a chance. Would people buy food prepared in an uninspected kitchen? How and where would I get containers to ship, and wrap to keep the cookies, or breads fresh while shipping?

Ah well such as life. The fact is, UNLESS you are well of, you have to have money to make money, because you have to spend money to make money. That’s a sharp double edge sward.

Well there’s my daily blog. Have a great day everyone. I say everyone as if sooooo many people read my blogs I crack myself up.