Matt.5:44..But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you

There was A book I read about forgiveness. It spoke on why it’s important to forgive.

There are so many reasons to forgive. I know it’s hard to forgive. To forgive someone feels like you’re giving them a free pass to continue doing what they do to hurt you. I stayed in a 15 year relationship because he kept apologizing. I kept forgiving. Then it got to the point that he was apologizing for the same thing. And I kept forgiving the same thing.

There was a part of me that just wanted it to work. I wanted to keep my little family together, beat the odds. But when it’s unrequited love you don’t have a snowballs chance in hell.

One of my problems is I have a hard time when I see some one I care about or love hurting. I know how that hurt feels. It’s an internal pain and you can’t see the scar. No matter how much they hurt me, it’s difficult for me to say or do something to make them hurt. So I would find myself hiding the pain away the pain they caused me. I would excuse it away. Saying they didn’t mean to, or manipulate what they said to make it ok. I never liked confrontations because I was never ready to be “savage” and hurt them with my words. Even to correct my son. Which wasn’t often. He was an only child so there wasn’t too much trouble he could get into. That don’t mean he was this perfect little angel. There was times when I had to scold him.

It broke my heart when I had to scold my son. There was this one time I had scolded him he took the scolding made his apology then he opened his arms for a hug, and said ” c’mon mom bring it in you know your gonna hug me” I was a little surprised at his reaction. He was supposed to be angry, argue back, make excuses. But instead he was apologetic. I stood there for a moment. Running through my mind what had just transpired. I hugged him of course. But I asked him how did you know I would want a hug? He told me I always hug him after I scold him.

During the course of that 15 year relationship, I had this idea that if I kept trying my best to meet his expectations, he would magically fall head over heels in love with me. Clearly that never happened

I found myself thinking of ways to make him feel bad, hurt him so to say. I wanted him to feel the same pain as me. I hated having those thoughts. JUST having thoughts like that made me feel worse. I knew I needed to truly forgive him. I mentioned early on in this blog there are many reasons to forgive. One of the reasons is, if you hold onto anger, or resentment you can make yourself physically ill. There’s heart disease, and high blood pressure, just to name a couple. I’m not saying that’s the sole cause of those particular illnesses, but I believe it is a contributing factor. But I also believe it takes you further away from God. Because now you can’t ask God to forgive you. I feel that IF you can’t forgive someone, then you can’t ask to be forgiven. It’s the same as do unto others as you would have done to you. (Something along those lines)

Because when you ask God to forgive you he does and he wipes the slate clean like nothing ever happened. So we must do the same with our enemies. So we pray for them, and we forgive them. But that don’t mean forget what has happened. We simply forgive and move on. We don’t have bad thoughts and ideas on getting revenge. As for me, I try not to think about that person, or persons other than when I’m praying so that when I think of them I am in prayer mode which keeps me humble to know I have to forgive to be forgiven.

Just know that when you fogive it frees you of anger, and resentment. So be free and forgive. I know it’s not that simple as saying it. It may take time, but God knows your heart and your intentions.

Ok that’s it for today. I know most of my blogs are random, and probably seem to be just a bunch of rambling words. But to be honest this helps to get thoughts out. It’s almost as if I’m having a conversation with myself. But since I’m paying for this I might as well put it to use. As I have said before I’m trying to get my ecommerce store recognized and get traffic to it. But I would appreciate if y’all would look at my homepage. There are some products there that may interest you. Plus I can make up gift baskets as well as personal coffee mugs. I’ll post a link to my store and a link where you can purchase some beautiful jewelry as well. Thank you for your time.