When you lost yourself


I started blogging very recently. I started it for a lot of reasons. One reason was to get out on social media and self promote (so to say) my adventure as an ecommerce. Let me tell ya it’s tough. But in this journey I have come to realize how much of myself I have lost. And to be quite honest, I don’t think I’ll ever get those parts of me back. Theres a lot to be said about this whole generation of social media or maybe I should say era of social media. I feel like the more connected we get to each other via social media, the less we connect face to face. And there’s a lot to be said for that face-to-face connection! For one thing, you can’t hug someone on Facebook, and there’s so much that can only be conveyed through body language. Even a positive facial expression can mean everything when we can’t find the words to express what we feel. I will admit at first, I was really enjoying this social media thing. I remember AOL America OnLine. I remember and miss the chat rooms. Then Yahoo came along which was an improvement from AOL. I had a lot of fun in those chat rooms. But through the years the internet has changed. I feel like for some it brings out a different person. I feel for some people it gives them the courage to say things that they may not say if they was face to face. (Be it good or bad.)

I have met a select few people in real life from the internet. One turned out to be a jerk. Long story short, I had just left my ex. We only talked for a brief period. Because when he told me I should send my son to live with his dad, I of course ended that relationship the moment those words came out of his mouth. I think that may have been the moment I knew I would be alone. But I was ok with it. I had responsibilities that took precedent over a “social” life. I have worked so much trying to keep my head above water and raise my son, that I now have no social life. I mean through the years on my jobs I have met some really great people. And maybe it’s because I’m not working right now and that gives me too much time to think. And more time to climb into my shell.

I have so much I would love to talk about, but no one really to talk to. I enjoy open conversation with out judgment. We can agree to disagree.

I recently wrote about being an introvert, extrovert, and ambivert. I was curious rather or not a person could become one of the three through life experiences.

Half the time I struggle writing a blog, because I don’t want to come off as narcissistic, or be mis judged. I don’t want to appear as a “clout” chaser. Or attention seeker. But here I am. Blogging about things people couldn’t care less about trying to get views.

But one thing I can say is. My blogs are JUST mostly my opinions. They are mostly what comes to mind at tge time I start blogging. I do try to blog every day. 90% of the time I have no clue what to blog about. Trust me there are PLENTY of current events to speak on, but at this point I try to stay away from those heated topics BECAUSE of judgment, or miss understandings.