Empath And Narcissist Relationship pt2


Empath sounds like some type of witchcraft, or sorcery. There are different types of Empaths, I will give a few here so as to get a better understanding.

1. Physical Empath
You are especially attuned to other people’s physical symptoms and tend to absorb them into your body. You also can become energized by someone’s sense of well-being. For example, if a physical empath’s friend is complaining about sharp stomach pains, the physical empath might start to feel a similar pain in their own body. 

2. Emotional Empath
You mainly pick up other people’s emotions and can become a sponge for their feelings, both happy and sad. Orloff give this example for what an emotional empath is: “They can sit beside a depressed person while watching a comedy and walk out of the movie theater feeling depressed. How? The other person’s energy field overlaps with the empath’s field during the film.”

3. Intuitive Empath
You experience extraordinary perceptions such as heightened intuition, telepathy, messages in dreams, animal and plant communication, as well as contact with the other side. Intuitive empaths can be broken down further into these seven types (heads up that this veers more into the spiritual than scientific): 

  • Telepathic Empaths receive intuitive information about others in present time.
  • Precognitive Empaths have premonitions about the future while awake or dreaming.
  • Dream Empaths are avid dreamers and can receive intuitive information from dreams that helps others and guides them in their own lives.
  • Mediumship Empaths can access spirits on the other side.
  • Plant Empaths can feel the needs of plants and connect with their essence.
  • Earth Empaths are attuned to changes in our planet, our solar system and the weather.
  • Animal Empaths can tune into animals and communicate with them. 

Physical, emotional, and intuitive seems more reasonable to me. However, I struggle from telepathic on down. I’m not saying they are not a thing, but for me that’s where I feel like it’s sorcery, It could be that I’ve never experienced it, or witnessed it; And as close as I’ve ever came to communicating with spirits, are dreams of loved ones who have passed. I had a dream of my granny shortly after she passed, in short she came to tell me she was going home, and in the dream she hugged me, but, I physically felt her arms around me and hugging me. When my dad passed I had several dreams of him. But the one that plays over and over in my mind is when he told me he’s not dead, there was a mistake in the paperwork. I’ve also had dreams of my Aunt, and my cousin. But I don’t think those are whats considered “talking to spirits” and as usual I digress.

Being an empath can be draining on a person. Depending on who you’re around it can, not only physically drain you, but emotionally drain you as well.

When I first met my sons father, he was sweet, and kind. I was 20 (young and dumb) he was 26. I had no idea where our relationship was going, or even if he was looking for a future with me, or if he was just being your typical male with typical interests (to keep it clean).

We talked and “dated” for about a month before we took it up a level. Long story short five months later I was pregnant. And boy was that a fiasco. No we wasn’t married, nor was we even in talks of marriage or of any kind of future.

Once I discovered I was pregnant, it was all over the apartme complex we lived in. Now I had of course planned to tell him, but in MY time. However, the news got to him before I was able to. The thing is only my mom and my cousin knew, so the news was leaked. The manager’s husband of where we lived worked with my sons father, and I believe he was the one who leaked the news.

When he found out he came to me and asked me if it’s true that I’m pregnant. Of course I told him it’s true. He was upset about the whole thing, but mostly because he heard it from second hand rather than from me. Which I can understand. However he was also upset about the pregnancy, he didn’t want to have a baby. He literally told me his life is ruined. Now to be honest neither one of us was taking measures to prevent getting pregnant. I take full responsibility for my carelessness. However he did not. Because according to him it was all my fault. He in fact was so upset about it he told me to “fix it” which meant to have an abortion. Now having an abortion goes against EVERY fiber of my being. He tried to get me to have an abortion for 3 months. I finally told him I am having this baby with or without you. You can walk away right now, and forget you ever knew me. But if you walk away now, you can NEVER come back into my or my childs life EVER again. But if you stay, then we can work together and raise our child. He decided to stay. Unbeknownst to me it was for revenge. (This is another hindsight lesson)

I later realized he has narcissistic tendencies. You see when you’re raised by a covert narcissist, you don’t set boundaries because according to said narcissist you have no boundaries because she is your mother. So you inadvertently spend your time vying for approval. Only to be discarded.

That was the very thing I found myself doing with my relationship with my sons father. I felt I owed a bit of debt to him for the way he found out about my pregnancy. I spent a larger portion of the years of our relationship trying to mend that. He used my emotions against me. He played mind games with my emotions. He knew I had lost my biological dad when I was very young, he knew my struggle with wondering what life would have been if I hadn’t lost my dad. He also knew I didn’t want my son to not know his dad. I honestly believe he knew something was broken within me. I clearly showed him I had no boundaries, by my own actions. But when you spend your life vying for approval you’re so blinded by your goal, you don’t see yourself. In fact this was normal to me.

When you’re raised by a narcissistic parent the things you endure become normal, no matter how it made you feel.

I was in that relationship for 15 years. I was constantly being discarded, and ignored. Until he needed to be up lifted. There I am to the rescue (this time it will work he will see how much I love and care for him) but after he drained me of my compassion and empathy, I have been discarded yet again.

Now as I said he stayed with me but only for revenge. His every move was calculated to get a reaction from me. To cause discord between he and I. He would go out EVERY weekend, and stay out until at least 4:00 a.m.

I remember pacing the floor at night worried about if he was ok, if he was in an accident, or got into a fight, or went to jail, my mind would race faster than I paced the floor back and forth from my room to the living room just to see if I see his car parked out side. Then when he did get home he would sleep the whole next day, only to get up shower and go out again and return late. There I am all by myself. Of course I would tell myself ” he worked hard all week, he deserves to go out now and again”. But it was EVERY single weekend. After a couple months I asked him if we could do something as a family one weekend. He said sure whatever you would like to do. So I set up a plan for us to go to the zoo one weekend. All week long that’s all he talked about. Going to the zoo. But he went out Friday night didn’t come back till late and slept the entire day. I was disappointed. He told me to wake him up at a spacific time, I tried but he was truthfully hung over. So we didn’t go anywhere. But the disappointments kept coming. He didn’t want me to work, he used the excuse that he wanted me to stay home and take care of our son. But he didn’t take steps to allow me to do so. I mean he gave me an “allowance” of $30.00 a week. That was to buy groceries, the baby diapers, and wash clothes all week. I literally felt like a peasant. When he certainly made good money as a welder. He in fact made $25.00 an hour and almost ALWAYS had overtime. Yet here I am just trying to make this relationship work, when it never stood a snowballs chance in hell. But I can make it work. Or at least I think I can. I just need to do this or that better. I just need to let him be. Let him have fun and go out anytime he wants to. I never turned him down (romantically) I honestly thought THAT would keep him from cheating. Of course I was wrong. Because not only did he have narcissistic tendencies I believe he was a sex addict as well. Trust me that is a thing. That may one day be a topic for a blog.

So I’ll leave you with this fir now. Because time is getting away from me and I have so much to do. But as usual I will leave you with links to visit my shop. Come back tomorrow for part 3. 😁