New Year

Yes, I know I bypassed Christmas. I understand lots of people love Christmas. I am just not a fan of that day. Too much drama as a child growing up when Christmas came around.

After the passing if my biological father, mom remarried. When she remarried I was 6 yrs old. So the man she married became step dad to me and my brother. However, at one point we was to call him dad, as a 6yr old I knew my real dad was dead, but I did call the man she married dad. That lasted for about 6 more years. During the course of that time, my mom’s mother didn’t like us calling him dad; and she let it be known EVERY chance she got.

I have spoken before on my dad’s faith. It is not a religion, or a church like the Catholic, or Baptist, or Jewish, or any other type or form of religion. There is in my opinion a difference between religion, and church, but that is certainly a blog for another time.

Now that I’m older I have learned about things I didn’t understand as a child about why there was always chaos. I do remember saying to myself ( when I grow up and get married, my family won’t be like this.)

Now to explain the drama/trauma specifically around Christmas. When my mom got married to her second husband, she knew of his faith. She knew that he didn’t celebrate secular holidays. I NOW know this because my dad and I spoke on this. Understand that when my dad and I spoke on this I was now an adult. Those who are reading this also need to know that no matter how hurtful the truth may have been….my dad would NEVER lie. I certainly trusted him more than anybody.

The very first year my mom married my dad, her mother caused a huge scene. Mom married dad in October, Christmas of course was 2 months away. The weirdest thing happened, my memory is not super clear, but I remember I was spending the night at my cousins house. (She and I was the only 2 girls the rest was boys) and in the middle of the night mom came and got me. Then the next thing I know my mom’s mother was out in the front yard and some other family members shouting, and fussing. I remember my mom was all upset, and she told her new husband that she took a whole bottle of aspirins because she wanted to die. Then the cops show up, and then I remember mom telling her new husband that she didn’t take the pills. It was total chaos that night, but I do know the argument was because mom was not going to celebrate Christmas that year.

Things very similar to that event almost became a yearly event. But then there would be times that mom would be mad at my dad, and she would celebrate Christmas out of pure spite. The same thing happened around easter as well as Halloween.

As for me when these events would occur I would become anxious, not knowing it was actually anxiety. So I would suppress my anxiety. I literally hated these holidays, because I knew the drama that fallowed them.

So there ya have it folks, reasons why I don’t like Christmas. Sorry to be randomly posting, but Monday through Friday I’m work 12 hrs a day.