THANKSGIVING

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I know I’ve been MIA for quite some time. I hope everyone is doing well. I know I was talking about so many different things. I would have to go back and scan my blogs just to refresh my memory. 😂 to be honest, I’m just too darn lazy to do that right now.

I do however remember I told everyone I was finally going back to work after a 2 year lay off. I also remember telling y’all how much I love Thanksgiving. I also thought I could work and blog and try to promote my little side hustle of making gift baskets and trinkets hahaha that was a big laugh. I forgot how much working frack valves kick my butt. Not to mention working 10 to 12 hours a day. Feels like I live at work and just visit home. Yet I am very thankful to have a job, so I can’t really complain too much.

Funny thing is, I was laid off a week before Thanksgiving 2019 and was called back 2 years later in 2021 a week before Thanksgiving. Let also just say God is good because thankfully my brother held a job down the whole time I was laid off. Then around May he was let go from his job because the owner sold the company. So you see God has his plans, and it all worked out pretty good. My side hustle never really took off, but that’s ok. It wasn’t meant to be.

The thing is, we may have a plan in mind but we have to keep in mind God has the master plan. His will be done.

Now I’ve been back just over a year and let me tell you I’ve got some stories for you. The one that’s most fresh is Thanksgiving 2022. Boy oh boy. But that’s going to be another blog. There’s sooo much that happened. I may have to get onto the desk top computer to be able to blog all that out, it’s a whopper of a story. But for now just wanted to do a quick blog to say hello and hope all is well with everybody I’ll be signing off for now. I will be back with more to say. Good night love y’all sleep well ❤

Sunday

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Well to my surprise I apparently had auto renew set to my word press. Soooo I was just charged to continue blogging.😶

However, the issue or issues I’m having is TIME! I work 10 to 12 hour shifts. Whule I am so very grateful that I have a job, I now don’t have time for my “hobby” not like it matters much, I never made not one single sale.

Maybe I’ll look at this as an extended opportunity to continue to try.

Also any one who IS following me thank you, but for some reason I can’t seem to follow back. I will look into this and try to figure out why. Until then I hope y’all enjoy my crazy random blogs.

New Year

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Yes, I know I bypassed Christmas. I understand lots of people love Christmas. I am just not a fan of that day. Too much drama as a child growing up when Christmas came around.

After the passing if my biological father, mom remarried. When she remarried I was 6 yrs old. So the man she married became step dad to me and my brother. However, at one point we was to call him dad, as a 6yr old I knew my real dad was dead, but I did call the man she married dad. That lasted for about 6 more years. During the course of that time, my mom’s mother didn’t like us calling him dad; and she let it be known EVERY chance she got.

I have spoken before on my dad’s faith. It is not a religion, or a church like the Catholic, or Baptist, or Jewish, or any other type or form of religion. There is in my opinion a difference between religion, and church, but that is certainly a blog for another time.

Now that I’m older I have learned about things I didn’t understand as a child about why there was always chaos. I do remember saying to myself ( when I grow up and get married, my family won’t be like this.)

Now to explain the drama/trauma specifically around Christmas. When my mom got married to her second husband, she knew of his faith. She knew that he didn’t celebrate secular holidays. I NOW know this because my dad and I spoke on this. Understand that when my dad and I spoke on this I was now an adult. Those who are reading this also need to know that no matter how hurtful the truth may have been….my dad would NEVER lie. I certainly trusted him more than anybody.

The very first year my mom married my dad, her mother caused a huge scene. Mom married dad in October, Christmas of course was 2 months away. The weirdest thing happened, my memory is not super clear, but I remember I was spending the night at my cousins house. (She and I was the only 2 girls the rest was boys) and in the middle of the night mom came and got me. Then the next thing I know my mom’s mother was out in the front yard and some other family members shouting, and fussing. I remember my mom was all upset, and she told her new husband that she took a whole bottle of aspirins because she wanted to die. Then the cops show up, and then I remember mom telling her new husband that she didn’t take the pills. It was total chaos that night, but I do know the argument was because mom was not going to celebrate Christmas that year.

Things very similar to that event almost became a yearly event. But then there would be times that mom would be mad at my dad, and she would celebrate Christmas out of pure spite. The same thing happened around easter as well as Halloween.

As for me when these events would occur I would become anxious, not knowing it was actually anxiety. So I would suppress my anxiety. I literally hated these holidays, because I knew the drama that fallowed them.

So there ya have it folks, reasons why I don’t like Christmas. Sorry to be randomly posting, but Monday through Friday I’m work 12 hrs a day.

Christmas

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Been a day or 2 since my last blog. If memory serves me, I blogged about Thanksgiving. The dinner was nice, everything came together nicely.

So after it was said and done, the next day I got on my Facebook page. Anybody who has Facebook knows, that Facebook loves to bring up the past. It showed a memory of our 2014 Thanksgiving. My heart stopped beating for just a second; as that was the last Thanksgiving to be had with dad. Had I knew that; and if I had the ability; it would have been FOREVER Thanksgiving Day. Sadly we know NOT for whom, or when the bell tolls. Now when I do Thanksgiving there will always be fall leaves of some sort of decorations, because that last Thanksgiving I had scattered fake fall leaves all over the table. My dad loved them and said they reminded him of back home when he was a boy on the farm. Oof I miss him so much. I keep seeing his smiling face, I remember how he always said positive things. He was ALWAYS encouraging you, and when he was proud of you, and or your success, no matter how small or big your win was he let you know what a great job you did.

Now Christmas is coming up. Christmas is a tough holiday for me. There was a lot of inconsistencies growing up. I have spoke on the death of my biological father. I wasn’t old enough to remember him. Except that specific day he passed away. I have remembered that fateful day for longer than I knew him. However mom did remarry. That man is the one who helped raise me and my brother. They had a daughter together. Of course she’s my little sister. Now when she and he got married, she knew his faith did NOT celebrate secular holidays like Christmas, Easter, or Halloween. When ever those holidays rolled around, it depended on rather mom was mad at dad, or her mom that we DID or DID NOT celebrate those holidays. THAT’S when all that extra drama would come into play.

I have blogged about narcissism, and how things can be confusing when a child is the target of the narcissistic person. As a child all I understood is, mom’s mad. There would be times she was mad at dad. I never knew why, only that she was mad at him. When she’s mad she is emotional, and reactive. With no care about how hurtful she is with her words and actions. That was terrifying as a child. Also when mom was mad she was angry and hurtful to anyone who crossed her eye sight. DON’T even think about speaking to her. Now that I’m older, I have revisted my younger years. I see now that there was a form of consistency. It was guaranteed there WILL be some kind of drama. Just a matter of which direction the drama went. Also in hindsight I feel like more often we DID NOT celebrate the holidays because there was more drama when we didn’t than when we did.

You see my dad was a passive guy. He didn’t care for all the fussing and bickering. Yet he stood his grounds on his fath and beliefs. He DID NOT celebrate the holidays, however if mom decided she will, he didn’t give her the fight she wanted. The thing about a narcissist is, they love to create drama then play victim to the very drama they created. Not my dad. In fact there was times that mom decided to celebrate Christmas. Now my dad would drive us to the house that was hosting the Christmas eve party. Which was always Granny’s place. Let me tell you that first off I love my granny, but she was spiteful, mean and vindictive at times. She was the queen of personal satisfaction. She always made the holiday dinners. She knew my dad didn’t eat pork, yet she would put pork bacon in the green beans, then take it out before setting them on the table. She would also from time to time give my dad a gift for Christmas, knowing good and well he didn’t celebrate. Then after the “festivities” laugh and smirk about the fact that he accepted the gift. Most often it was something like a pair of gloves, or a beanie. I believe most times he JUST didn’t want the drama.

That being said, there was times when mom would be mad at Granny and NOT celebrate. I think those was my mom’s favorite times. Because Granny was vindictive Granny would get drunk, come over to our place and make a scene for all the neighbors to see and hear, and with mom loving the drama would get just as ornery. They would fuss and bicker about stuff from the past, never really argue about the topic at hand. There are so many examples and stories I could tell you. However, I just don’t have the time.

Now Christmas is just around the corner, my brother and mom want me to make a Christmas dinner. They are wanting DUCK! I’ve never cooked duck. Not to mention the memories of past Christmas’s. Ugg!

So I seem to be out of words to blog now but there’s a blog for y’all.

Thanksgiving❤

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Yes I have blogged befor about Thanksgiving. Y’all know this is my favorite holiday. FYI there’s 363 days and count till Thanksgiving again.

This year turned out really great. Two years ago, I was laid off a week before Thanksgiving. Now this year a week before Thanksgiving I get a call back to the job that laid me off.

There was chaos all week. Monday and Tuesday I had to stop by the store after doing a 12 hour shift those 2 day, and boy was that a hot mess. Y’all all know the stores was crowded. Yet most of the people was mindful of others. There was certainly a different vibe while shopping in a crowded store. I spend most of my time avoiding crowds because often times people are just rude. So Monday and Tuesday after 12 hour shifts I get everything needed for Thanksgiving dinner, EXCEPT pie shells. So I decided fine I’ll just make my own pie shells. My son loved them. Soooo now when I make pies for him they now have to be homemade pie shells 😂. He’s so spoiled.

I went to work Wednesday for 8 hours. Came home took a power nap for 45 minutes and then got up to make the pies and do prep work for the dinner. I was up till 3 a.m. Then got up Thanksgiving morning to complete the dinner. The turkey was actually moist and juicy. All the sides came out delicious. So I would like to share a few photos of my Thanksgiving.

This photo here is the start of the dinner table. I made the place mats and napkins. I needed to set another place mat, for my sons girlfriend. However I wanted to get the photo like this first. In fact if you look closely on the top left you can see the other place mat.

This photo is my brother (a.k.a sasquatch) and my son

A little background on my brother, when he was younger he was skinny as a rail. He is also a veteran he served in the Gulf war. My brother may get on my nerves and irritate the fire out of me, but I love him. He’s got a heart of gold.

Not too much to really say on this photo, the caption is pretty much all I got.

This photo right here is a photo of the best kid in the whole wide world, and his girlfriend

I’ll admit my opinion of my son is a bit biased. Moving forward this boy and I have been through hell and back. We know we can count on each other because it’s been us against the world. We have an unbreakable bond.

I just wanted to get on here and blog about my experience with Thanksgiving this year. I am already planning next years Thanksgiving 😁 I hope everyone else who celebrates this holiday had a great Thanksgiving as well.

✌❤

https://kolejax.com/

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

https://simplegiftshere.company.site/

Day One

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Woohoo day one of officially going back to work. This day will be all paper work and compliance wire. Long talks about safety and all that boring, but important stuff.

Well now today is day 2 and pretty much the rest of the boring, but important stuff. Tomorrow Wednesday I have to be there by 6 a.m.

Short and sweet blog

https://simplegiftshere.company.site/

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

https://kolejax.com/

✌❤

Last Bit Of Freedom

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This may be considered “click bait” 😁 However it’s true for me and MY personal freedom, but it’s not a bad loss.

As the few who have been reading my goofy little blogs, y’all know I have been out of work the last 2 years. So at first, I looked at it as a long over due vacation. I made a decision to enjoy some time off. I had been working for years with only a hand full of “vacations”; and THEN I would just take a few days here and there to reboot. I never really went any where. Y’all also know I worked at Netflix for 10 years and was laid off, and 6 weeks later back to work. However I was laid off 14 months later. I decided I was going to make some changes in my life. Go back to school, get a degree in business management. Try to start a business.

Needless to say things didn’t quite go as planned. 😔 I decided to try my hand at crafting, and sell it online. Everybody I knew made it seem so easy.

Decide a niche
Find a website
Creat your store
Start selling

Easy as pie.😶 They don’t tell you you have to spend money to promote your product; and I am not tech savvy. I did what I could, but ultimately it was an epic fail.

But long story short, I start my new/old job Monday 11/15/2021. The funny thing about this is I was laid off a week before Thanksgiving in 2019, now I’m going back 2 years later A WEEK BEFORE THANKSGIVING😂🤣 I’m excited because I know what’s expected, but more importantly is I love the people I’m going to be working with. The crew that’s left there in the section I was in, are very friendly and helpful. There’s one young lady who is over the moon excited I’m coming back.

I do plan to one day get an online shop for my crafting. However I will have done more research and have a better understanding of how it works and what I need to do. I feel like part if the problem is I didn’t use Facebook. I was trying to stay away from them. Not really a fan of that platform anymore. They like to hide information from you. Apparently we are not smart enough to know if it’s “misinformation” or truth so they decide for us. Anyway I excited about going back to this company. It’s a really good company to work for. So that’s my blog for now.

https://kolejax.com/

https://simplegiftshere.company.site/

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

✌❤

Faith And Prayers.

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I know I’ve been away for a while. I’ve had a lot going on. I had been writing about fair labor laws and fighting for a pay that the company didn’t want to pay. Well that’s still in limbo. Real quick on that topic though.

I had received an email from HR saying they had got with management and have decided to pay me for the orientation. She then informed me, that I could come and pick up my check on Friday 10/08/2021. Which was wierd because I had received a letter from workforce informing me on paper they had officially received my wage complaint and is waiting to have an investigator assigned to it. Now I know workforce always sends both parties involved in the complaint the the same letters. I respond… Thank you I will be there Friday at 2:30p.m. It gets more strange because ON THE DAY I was to go get the check she e-mailed me again requesting I return the access gate card as well. I read the e-mail and just put my phone in my pocket and proceeded to get ready to go to get my little check. However at 2:10 p.m I had received a phone call; but my phone was in my back pocket and I was driving so I didn’t know until I got to the job site. Then I call into the office to speak with the person in HR ONLY to be informed that they had received a letter from Workforce and are now handling correspondents through them and they don’t have my check there. Now I’m frustrated I asked him when did y’all receive the letter from workforce? He said Monday or Tuesday. I then asked why did she send me an email TODAY at 1:39 requesting the access badge? Now he’s stumbling over his words and back peddling. So I told him that when I receive my check is when you’ll get the access card. So that’s where we’re at with that.

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

NOW THE GOOD PART! I’m so flipping EXCITED! 😺

Ok. So mom and I decided to go to Sam’s club to get a few items. We spoke on it the night before. So I get up have my coffee, proceed to take a shower to start my day. While I was in the shower, the water wasn’t draining like it should so I thought I need to clean the hair out from the drain. But once I got out of the shower I realized both bathrooms was on the fritz. So we went a head and did our stuff we needed to get done, I was hoping the situation would correct it’s self but to no avail. So I had to contact the new owner and explain to her the situation. She sent a plumber out and all is well with our toilets again. BUT the new owner text me saying the plumber said it was a lot of tissue, and to not use so much. I told her we’ve been living here for 4 almost 5 years and never had this happen. She informed me that IF it happens again SHE will not pay for the plumber. 😶 Blah blah blah. Enough on that. The BEST part of today is….. I got a message from an old coworker asking me if I was ready to come back to work on valves. I said why heck yeah! Long as I don’t have to paint them 😂

Long story short I’m fixing to get my job back; and the people I worked with there,,, are really really great people. The employees there really look out for each other. Sooooo maybe I can continue my little hobby and hopefully start making some side money just to put back into savings. Ok thats it for now.

https://simplegiftshere.company.site/

Fair Labor Laws pt 2

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So there may be a pt3 not sure just yet. I will know more on the 8th of October. So I posted a rant about fair labor laws. I spoke on the fact that I filed a wage complaint with workforce. Y’all know how rude that person was that I spoke to. So yesterday I received a letter from workforce informing me ” officially” that they have received my complaint. Now today I get an email from the company I filed on.

So naturally I told her I would pick up the check on Friday October 8 2021 at 2:30 pm.

So aparently I was entitled to the hours slent on orientation; however I am unsure if it will be calculated at $7.25 as according to the person I spoke with they are only obligated to pay minimum wage for the training. Either way, I sttod my ground on what I thought was right. But the other concerns I have are…. Are the employees there bei g treated properly? Are they aware of their rights as an employee? Did they or will they at the very least get a relatively clean break room to have their lunch rather than have lunch IN the warehouse 6 to 8 feet from where they are working? I hope at the very least they get a break room away from where they’re working.

Ok the troublemaker us signing out. Yeah heres my links. Still trying to earn a living.

https://simplegiftshere.company.site/

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

https://kolejax.com/?ref=qnwfpdlfis30

✌❤

New Day

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New day but same old bull shigity. Dealing with a narcissist, actually, dealing with a narcissist and the oldest child that encourages the behavior. I know through reading on how to deal with narcissistic people that you’re NOT to take their jabs on a personal level. That being said, it’s a skill that HAS to be learned, and it takes work to learn and put that skill to good use. Truth is it’s not only easier, but habitual to just react to the jabs than to actually put that skill to work. Once you’ve reacted, you have just nurished that narcissists needs. Then you get more upset and frustrated at yourself because of your reaction. You just get so tired of the constant jabs. From semantics to only paying attention JUST to hear you miss speak, to quickly point out that you stumbled on a word. 😶 that crap gets old real fast. The constant talking about me like I’m not even in the same room as them, but if I react or get offended it’s the constant ” why so defensive?” Or “We was just joking.” Or “I didn’t mean it that way”

Don’t even think about having a conversation with a narcissist. If they make a statement what ever they say is ABSOLUTE fact. There is no questioning, or relating another scenario; because if you do, then you’re being argumentative. Lord forbid you should EVER disagree with a narcissist.

Sometimes a person just needs time alone to be able to reboot, and build energy and strenght to be able to tolerate, and act according to the toxic person/people in your life. To be honest the best reaction to a toxic person is no contact. Just walk away and leave them to their own devices. However when it’s family, and it’s your elderly mother and your other siblings are “unavailable” not much you can do but bite the bullet. The old saying take one for the team.

She’s back to her old tricks from back in the 80’s when my dad moved us to Florida. When school started and she was home alone, she started having panic attacks (anxiety) except we didn’t really know what that was. NOW years later it turns out they was anxiety, but at the time she and we thought it was that she was going into a heart attack. Most times by the time we hot to the ER the panic attack would be settled. Then we would follow up with our primary physician in short she was prescribed prescribed Valium for her. Of course she wouldn’t take them. 😶 She was scared of getting addicted to them. Rather ironic medication for anxiety, yet created another fear. The thing is, when she would want somebody home with her, she would have my dad leave his job to come and get me out of school. We lived in Florida for 2 years, I might have physically attend class at best a half a semester. The thing is she never had this anxiety issue until we went to live in Florida. There she was away from her family.

One of the main characteristics of individuals with increased levels of vulnerable narcissism is anxiety. I have never had a panic attack to where it feels like I’m having a heart attack, I believe I as well as many others have anxiety, it just presents differently. I tend to tinker around with things like reorganising the dishes, or the food pantry or a closet. Basically anything to not focus on the anxiety. Yet finding peace with what I can’t change.

So after 2 years in Florida my dad decided to move us to Missouri. Things was a little better, she actually got a part time job with a lady at our church. Cleaning houses. That was the first time I ever seen my mom have a job. But for what ever reason the job didn’t last very long. Then after a year in Missouri my moms brothers and sister was able to get us plane tickets back to Texas. I was going into my senior year when we came back to Texas. Because the credit system was different in Texas than Missouri, they wanted to put me back to a junior. So I ended up dropping out.

Fast forward to now. Now I have been out of work but looking for work. She has made me aware that she wants me to stay home with her. I am trying to find work that has a second or over night shift. So I CAN be home with her during the day and her oldest golden child can be home with her in the evening.

The thing is back in August I was sick. I didn’t want to spread the virus so I steered clear of everybody. But mom thinks her golden son needs a hot meal cooked for him every night when he comes home. So she was in the kitchen cooking, making biscuits using cast iron skillets. Long story short she hurt herself doing all that. Because the thing is I had been doing all the cooking and cleaning for the past 10 years or more. EVEN while working. They literally began to treat me like I was their maid. But I digress.

I mentioned earlier about anxiety. I have mentioned that I have never had an attack where I thought I was having a heart attack. So I am not saying anxiety is not a real situation, but I often wonder if those attacks are a form of regret in a narcissistic person. One thing I know for sure….. This psychology stuff is crazy. The mind is a tricky thing, and can play tricks on you. I know I don’t makes sense half the time. Probably most of the time. But heres another ranting/venting blog. And of course my links.

✌❤

https://kolejax.com/?ref=qnwfpdlfis30

https://simplegiftshere.company.site

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/