Sunday

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Well to my surprise I apparently had auto renew set to my word press. Soooo I was just charged to continue blogging.😶

However, the issue or issues I’m having is TIME! I work 10 to 12 hour shifts. Whule I am so very grateful that I have a job, I now don’t have time for my “hobby” not like it matters much, I never made not one single sale.

Maybe I’ll look at this as an extended opportunity to continue to try.

Also any one who IS following me thank you, but for some reason I can’t seem to follow back. I will look into this and try to figure out why. Until then I hope y’all enjoy my crazy random blogs.

Day One

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Woohoo day one of officially going back to work. This day will be all paper work and compliance wire. Long talks about safety and all that boring, but important stuff.

Well now today is day 2 and pretty much the rest of the boring, but important stuff. Tomorrow Wednesday I have to be there by 6 a.m.

Short and sweet blog

https://simplegiftshere.company.site/

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

https://kolejax.com/

✌❤

Last Bit Of Freedom

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This may be considered “click bait” 😁 However it’s true for me and MY personal freedom, but it’s not a bad loss.

As the few who have been reading my goofy little blogs, y’all know I have been out of work the last 2 years. So at first, I looked at it as a long over due vacation. I made a decision to enjoy some time off. I had been working for years with only a hand full of “vacations”; and THEN I would just take a few days here and there to reboot. I never really went any where. Y’all also know I worked at Netflix for 10 years and was laid off, and 6 weeks later back to work. However I was laid off 14 months later. I decided I was going to make some changes in my life. Go back to school, get a degree in business management. Try to start a business.

Needless to say things didn’t quite go as planned. 😔 I decided to try my hand at crafting, and sell it online. Everybody I knew made it seem so easy.

  • Decide a niche
  • Find a website
  • Creat your store
  • Start selling

Easy as pie.😶 They don’t tell you you have to spend money to promote your product; and I am not tech savvy. I did what I could, but ultimately it was an epic fail.

But long story short, I start my new/old job Monday 11/15/2021. The funny thing about this is I was laid off a week before Thanksgiving in 2019, now I’m going back 2 years later A WEEK BEFORE THANKSGIVING😂🤣 I’m excited because I know what’s expected, but more importantly is I love the people I’m going to be working with. The crew that’s left there in the section I was in, are very friendly and helpful. There’s one young lady who is over the moon excited I’m coming back.

I do plan to one day get an online shop for my crafting. However I will have done more research and have a better understanding of how it works and what I need to do. I feel like part if the problem is I didn’t use Facebook. I was trying to stay away from them. Not really a fan of that platform anymore. They like to hide information from you. Apparently we are not smart enough to know if it’s “misinformation” or truth so they decide for us. Anyway I excited about going back to this company. It’s a really good company to work for. So that’s my blog for now.

https://kolejax.com/

https://simplegiftshere.company.site/

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

✌❤

Fair Labor Laws pt 2

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So there may be a pt3 not sure just yet. I will know more on the 8th of October. So I posted a rant about fair labor laws. I spoke on the fact that I filed a wage complaint with workforce. Y’all know how rude that person was that I spoke to. So yesterday I received a letter from workforce informing me ” officially” that they have received my complaint. Now today I get an email from the company I filed on.

This is what the e-mail said.

So naturally I told her I would pick up the check on Friday October 8 2021 at 2:30 pm.

So aparently I was entitled to the hours slent on orientation; however I am unsure if it will be calculated at $7.25 as according to the person I spoke with they are only obligated to pay minimum wage for the training. Either way, I sttod my ground on what I thought was right. But the other concerns I have are…. Are the employees there bei g treated properly? Are they aware of their rights as an employee? Did they or will they at the very least get a relatively clean break room to have their lunch rather than have lunch IN the warehouse 6 to 8 feet from where they are working? I hope at the very least they get a break room away from where they’re working.

Ok the troublemaker us signing out. Yeah heres my links. Still trying to earn a living.

https://simplegiftshere.company.site/

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

https://kolejax.com/?ref=qnwfpdlfis30

✌❤

The Virus

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What a month I have had. So to start with August 14, my son was vistiting me like he does every weekend. But this Sunday morning I detected he wasn’t feeling well. Of course we both just figured it was sinuses flairing up. However after he left to go home, he ended up coming back to my house because there was some issues with some neighbors being loud over at his place. Somebody’s birthday or something. He has always had sleep issues ALL his life. I remember when he was young, if this child fell asleep in the car on the way to the store, if he just got a little cat nap it was like he was fully charged and could go another 16 hours. So I would do things like tell to look for the elephant, or lion, or ANY type of animal in the sky, JUST to keep him awake. I learned that if I woke him up early, let him spend his energy he would sleep at night. Then came kindergarten. They had a flipping NAP time because state law requires kindergarten students take a nap. However I spoke with his teacher and said he cannot have a nap. She asked what did I suggest during nap time. We got that settled, but I always knew if there was a substitute, because he woukd be awake untill 2 or 3 in the morning. I took him to school the next day and asked if there was a substitute, and the teacher said yes I was out yesterday, why do you ask? I explained that my son was awake until the early morning. The school apparently didn’t realize how vital it was that he not have a nap. To be honest, I think he had a mild case of hyper activity. However as a parent I was consistent with him. He knew if he acted out of line there would be consequences. Because I did not want to put him on medication.

So fast forward to now he’s a grown man. (gawd he grew too fast) He has always needed complete dark and silence to go to sleep. But you cannot control what other people do. So he came back here. I think it’s really because he’s not feeling well, but he did go to work that Monday, he said he felt worse, but would try to make it. Then he seen his girlfriend and she told him she wasn’t feeling well either. Long story short she went and took tge covid test, it came back positive. So he decided to take the test and yep positive as well. Now I never went to get tested, however because they have it I naturally assumed I got it.

Now here’s the concern. Y’all all know I take care of my elderly mother who has asthma/COPD amongst other health problems. I was so scared she was going to get it. However we took major precautions. We, my son and I stayed in one room for the most part. When we came out of the room we carried lysol and sprayed the areas we was in. We NEVER came out of the room without a mask on, and we never came out if anybody was in the front of the house.

Now that being said. Having the virus was like having a winter cold for my son and myself. We had a few days of your typical body aches. But mostly we was fatigued. We slept a lot. My son had told me he couldn’t taste or smell anything. Then I noticed I couldn’t smell or taste anything. In fact the only thing I could almost taste was grapes. And to be honest THAT was the MOST frustrating part of the virus. Not being able to smell or taste. It remined me of a movie I seen I can’t remember the title, but there was a guy who was an alcoholic. In the movie he couldn’t get his thirst quenched. He literally drank himself to death because he couldn’t get the thirst quenched. I think it was from the movie Hell Raiser you know the old movie with pinhead. But I’m not sure. Any way, it kind of felt like that. Because we wanted food, but we didn’t enjoy it because we couldn’t taste it or smell it.

During that time my son and I are sick, my mom is doing things like cooking, baking, and cleaning up the kitchen. Then after 10 days my son goes back to retest and it came back negative. YAY! However we still couldn’t smell or taste. We had a little jar of vics vapor rub. We used that for our smell test. Then little by little our taste and smell came back. Now I feel lije we are back to our normal selves again. We can smell and taste. But that is certainly not something I woukd want to go through again. It’s so wierd to not smell or taste. But the fact that nothing computes when you attempt to smell something it’s just blank.

So finally things get back to sort of normal, my son went back to work Wednesday after labor day. BUT now my mom is in pain. She’s telling me her stomach and back is hurting her. So on Tuesday the day right after labor day we visited an urgent care. We spent 5 hours there because they did all kinds of lab work. They diagnosed her with gastritis. Gave her a prescription for Pepcid AC. Then come Saturday she was still in pain and wanted to go to another ER because she didn’t like the previous diagnosis. Long story short same diagnosis. I tried to explain to her that when I was sick, and you doing all that cooking, you may have over exerted youself. Because I was doing everything. All she had to do was relax. Even when I was working, I came home and took care of cooking dinner and cleaning. So that 2 weeks I was sick she did too much and hurt herself.

I also know a part of this act is because she don’t want me to go back to work. She does not like being alone. I wished my ecommerce would have done well, but I just couldn’t get it off the ground.

Well there’s my blog. Enjoy. And heres my links if interested😊

✌❤

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

https://kolejax.com/?ref=qnwfpdlfis30

https://simplegiftshere.company.site

First And Lastday

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Ok soooo I told y’all about my new job, and how excited I was. Well I’m sure you guessed by the title it was my first AND last day.

For one the shop had no AC. But even worse, no fans. So that made it worse. Now let me tell HOW my first day went.

So I was scheduled 2pm to 10pm, but I had to go in at 11am for orientation. That took about 3 and a half hours. Once I finished orientation a parson took me down to the shop floor. Now when I was initially hired I was told that I was going in production. So I started there. Not bad for what they had me starting out on, and theyb had fans in that area. Even though it wasn’t cool air circulating, it was a cross breeze. So it made the heat more tolerable. Then along comes another lady in another department bringing me over to her side. This was I believe, the shipping department. No fans! The heat was honestly unbearable. Honestly had I been 20 years younger, I probably would have been able to endure it. But at my age now, I literally get nauseous, and a pounding headache if I am too hot, and have no way of cooling down.

Now the gentleman she put me with to train was a nice person, he just wasn’t really explaining things to me. I felt like a shadow, so we was almost finished with the order, so I says to him. After we finish this order I think I’m going on lunch, since I came in at 10:30 am and it was going on 5:30. He said tou could go now if you want. I said ok I will. I informed him I would be back in 30 minutes. He said you get 45 minutes for lunch. I said ok see you in 45. But I went to my truck and turned it on and left. I had no intentions of going back.

I hate that I did that, but that just was NOT a good fit for me. Understand I’m not afraid of work, but, at the same time scleroderma and heat are not an ideal combination.

I will continue to look for work. But at my age it’s not going to easy. So could y’all PLEASE look at my links

https://simplegiftshere.company.site

https://kolejax.com/?ref=qnwfpdlfis30

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

Pre First Day

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Soooo tomorrow I start my new job. Been out of work since November 2019. A week before Thanksgiving.

Now Thanksgiving is MY holiday. Everything else is too commercialize these days. Thanksgiving is about cooking and eating and being thankful for our family, our health and just enjoying the company you have.

So evey since I started working, I ALWAYS worked on Thanksgiving. One year I had already been at Netflix 6 years, I decided to put the week of Thanksgiving for my week of vacation. AND it was approved! Now I put that time in from January. I was so excited all year for THAT week. I literally planned that whole week for cooking.

I bought molds to make a chocolate cornucopia to be filled with candies and cookies. I bought special dinner ware JUST for that day. I had it all planned out.

The menu consisted of turkey, stuffing, gravy, roast, potatoes, carrots. Corn on the cob, fresh green beans, candied yams. Sweet Tea. Desserts was pumkin pie, chocolate pie, sweet potato pie, and vanilla pie. The pie crusts was of course homemade. I had mom and dad decorating the cookies. Basically to keep them out of my hair. 😂 I had bought a beautiful tablecloth, and place mats. I even put fake fall leaves over the table. We rarely have a cold Thanksgiving here in this part of Texas.

Now even though mom and dad had been divorced for a few years, he still hung out with us all the time. He of course had a invitation to go to his youngest daughter’s house, but he always came to mine. He said he felt more comfortable and welcomed at my house. That made me feel a sense of pride. I always want people to feel comfortable and welcomed in my house. My door is always open. So that year we had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We all was stuffed.

Besides the food my dad said his favorite part was the leaves because it reminded him of back home in Missouri.

Sadly by March the following year my dad passed away. He had a heart attack and was found in the parking lot where he had made his last delivery for his job.

That was the worst news I ever received. My dad had tripple bypass about 4 years priar. When he had his surgery he signed a DNR paper. When the paramedics got to him they revived him, but he was in a coma. Basically he was with no brain activity. My sister was responsible to make the call to pull the plug. We know that’s what he would have wanted. He was always a hard working man. He never wanted to depend on his children.

I hated that he was called home. But I feel good about our last Thanksgiving we had together. It took me a while, but I was finally able to have a Thanksgiving dinner in honor and memory of my dad. So this year I hope to do the same. Yes I will be setting a plate for him.

So planning Thanksgiving now. Will keep you posted on first day on the job and how the plans for Thanksgiving dinner is going

https://simplegiftshere.company.site

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

https://kolejax.com/?ref=qnwfpdlfis30

Quick Blog

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I know I’ve been away from blogging. But I have a good reason. I have been diligently looking for work. I want and need full time. However I have an interview today with a retail store. I know 99% of those places only hire part time. But I also have 2 other interviews one on Monday, and another on Tuesday. I will of course attend all 3 and see what each has to offer. I’m almost sure something good is going to happen. If anything it will be a job. So I can generate an income to try and continue my failed ecommerce 😂

Any ways off to my interview heres your links

✌❤

https://simplegiftshere.company.site/

https://kolejax.com/?ref=qnwfpdlfis30

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

Update: Interview

Well that interview was a flop. So as I stated, I have been diligently looking for a job, to support my failed ecommerce store. The ONLY reason I applied for the job is BECAUSE it said FULL TIME. Yet she said it would be part time. So I told her I would come in for an interview and see what happens. I had explained to her that when the application had me put hours of availability it showed for an overnight shift. I explained that I was interested in an overnight shift and why. But she said she didn’t have an overnight shift. Then I asked her on average how many hours would I average a week? Her response was… That depends on how well you work, if you do what I tell you, and work hard. She proceeded to say SHE’S the stocker and even if the line backs up all the way to the back room….I’m still stocking. If little jonnie throws up in the middle if the isle YOU have to clean it up. Because I’m stocking. Line is backed up….I’m stocking. So I says to her well that’s rather stressful on account you have more than one register, yet you have a line of customers getting frustrated because YOU won’t jump on a register and get the line down. Then she proceeded to say… If the line backs up I’m ( she) gonna jump on a register and get the line down. I was saying to myself. You speak with a forked tonge. Talking out the side of your mouth. To be honest she sent negative vibes. She was wearing cut off blue jean shorts, unmatched socks. She quite frankly was not very professional. Now I want and need a job, but this didn’t seem like a good fit AT ALL se le vi

I have 2 more interviews this week. We’ll see how those go.

Oh how I wish getting my ecommerce was as easy as getting job interviews. Yes another update. I still have 2 interviews one today, BUT I now have 2 for tomorrow. So today is a position for a baker ar Golden Corral. I can’t say for sure if it would be full time, but I do know the chances are extremely high that I would be working on weekends. Not that I do a lot of going out partying, because I haven’t “gone out” in YEARS. But…. I don’t want to work every weekend either. So I plan to go to that interview today, I have a phone interview tomorrow with a department store at 9:40 a.m, then an in person at 10:00 a.m. with a warehouse job. This job is Monday through Friday, from what I can tell. I’m almost 100% sure it’s full time, and I know for sure it’s CERTAINLY NOT a minimum wage pay.

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I can’t think of a title right now. Maybe one will come to me as I write my thoughts down. I know I have not blogged in just over a week. However I was processing some information. Let me try and explain.

First off anyone who reads my blogs know that my son and I are close. People will call him a mama’s boy, and he will look you dead in your eyes and with absolute pride say “Damn right I am.” He has no shame about his love and respect for me. But in general most people haven’t seen how our relationship was formed. There are a lot of moving parts. I also know things could have been worse. That being said, my son and I have been through a lot. To start with, his dad wanted me to abort him. His dad was upset because HIS life is over now. He didn’t want to have kids, AND it’s MY fault that I got pregnant. So in short I told his dad that I was having this child WITH, or WITHOUT you. You can walk away now and we never have to speak again. He decided to stay with me. However had I known THEN what I know now, decisions would have been different. First, I still would NOT have gotten an abortion. But secondly I woukd not have wasted 15 years trying to build a relationship and a family with this VENGEFUL person. He only stayed to make MY life hell because I wouldn’t have an abortion. I know, you folks who are actually reading this are probably thinking that I’m the one who is a narcissist. But in reality I am the empath. Yes he stayed, but it was like we was roommates. We didn’t do anything as a family. Lime go to the park, or the beach, or go out to eat from time to time. No he worked I stayed home and took care of our child. Normal to a point. He gave me an “allowance” of thirty dollars. That was to by groceries, and do laundry. We lived in apartments that did not offer washer/dryer hook ups. So here I am “playing” house. Now in my mind I was thinking he would soon see how loyal I am, and the fact that I truly do love him, that he would start to see his life is not ruined. I honestly thought we could work this out. But unrequited love is just that. Little did I know it would never be. It took me 15 years of (mostly emotional) abuse, to realise he will never (at the very least) respect me. Let alone love me. He is incapable of love.

In short I finally left him for the last time. Oh I must have left him a thousand times. But as usual he turned on his charm, and love bombing. And I found myself right back where I started. THAT’S why when you leave a narcissist you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO GO NO CONTACT. No exceptions. Or you WILL end up where you left a thousand times.

So when I finally left him for good, I must admit every emotional aspect of my being was dead. With the exception of anger. I had devised a plan to leave. I put that plan into action. I needed a car. He noticed I was looking for a car, and said I’ll sell you the Mazda for $1000.00 I said ok. I got my income tax and paid him a thousand dollars for that Mazda. That was around the end of February. My plan was in motion. I now have a car and am no longer tied to bus routes and bus schedules for my dedtinations. That was step one. I began looking for an affordable but safe place to live. My son was 13 close to 14 yrs old. I was working a minimum wage job. So I found an all bills paid apartment. I put a deposit on a 1 bdr. Side note. As I stated earlier, the only emotion I was feeling was anger. So EVERY TIME. I left in the car I bought from him, I played the song by Jo Dee Masina “My Give a damn’s Busted. The song was very fitting the lyrics are posted

Well you filled up my head
With so many lies.
You twisted my heart
'til something snapped inside.
I'd like to give it one more try
But my give a damn's busted.
You can crawl back home
Say you were wrong,
Stand out in the yard
And cry all night long.
Go ahead and water the lawn.
My give a damn's busted.
I really want to care,
I want to feel somethin'
Let me dig a little deeper...
Naw...
Sorry...
Nothin'
You can say you've got issues.
You can say you're a victim.
It's all your parents fault,
I mean, after all you didn't pick 'em
Maybe somebody else's got time to listen.
My give a damn's busted.
Well your therapist says
It was all a mistake
A product of the prozac
And your co-dependent ways
So ... who's your enabler these days?
My give a damn's busted.
I really want to care,
I want to feel somethin'
Let me dig a little deeper...
Naw...
Still nothin
It's a desperate situation,
No tellin' what you'll do.
If I don't forgive you,
You say your life is through.
Come on ... give me somethin' I can use.
My give a damn's busted.
Well, I really want to care
I want to feel somethin'
Let me dig a little deeper...
Naw, man...
Sorry
Just nothin'
No
You've really done it this time (haha)
My give a damn's busted.

So as he began to realize I was planning to leave he at first acted lije he didn’t care. Then he started the scare tactics. The classic you’re not going to make it out there by yourself. THEN the classic you’re not going to find someone like me. I didn’t respond to him as I was packing. Then something snapped in me and I had to get some things off my chest. So I told him your scare tactics are not going to work this time. Also I am not looking for anybody I just want to be alone. But if I did find some body I would certainly hope to God he’s NOT like you. I let him know how deeply he hurt me with the mind games, and his 15 years of vengeance against me because I ruined YOUR life because I got pregnant.

It has now been 16 years and 4 months since I left him. With NO CONTACT. Just for the record, I never stopped communication’s between him and our son. Since our son was a bit older and was aware of what was going on I didn’t stop their communication. And NOW 16 years later he tells my son he tried to contact me. However my son knew that was a lie. Because I would have told my son. But he kept pushing the subject and asked for my number. My son told his dad that it’s not a good idea. His dad asked if I was seeing someone. My son always protecting me tells his dad that it’s really none of your concern if she is or is not seeing someone. Now he never gave him my number. My son also knows I NEVER want to see OR talk to him again.

I also know he’s still an alcoholic. He was in fact drinking when he was asking about me. Matter of fact he has 2 specific times in the year that he does this binge drinking. Usually around mid March to late April, and then mid October to late November. Now at this point he’s either late for his March/April binge, or he’s early for his October/November binge because we’re only in August.

He is a part of the reason I am broken. I lived a solitude life when I was with him. I lost all my friends. I didn’t go out unless it was with my family. Mom and Dad. I have a hard time talking to people. Because I spent so many years being discarded, and ignored. I feel like now I am a burden to people. But I am working on it.

But just because my son told me his dad is looking yo talk to me brings back memories I wish I had forgotten. So there’s my blog. Thank you for your time

https://kolejax.com/?ref=qnwfpdlfis30

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

https://simplegiftshere.company.site/

✌❤

Nothing Gold Can Stay

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Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Robert Frost poem.

The first time I read this poem was when I read the book “The Outsiders” I had to do a book report. Gawd how I hated to HAVE to read. But I just chose a book randomly because we had to do a stupid book report. Now don’t get me wrong, I like to read, just don’t want to HAVE to read and THEN tell you what the book was about. But once I opened the book and started reading, I couldn’t put it down. BUT I guess the purpose of doing a book report was so the teacher good check your writing skills. 😆

Let me just say, the English language has way to many rules and regulations, WITH exceptions to the rules and regulations. AND to this day I still get the grammer police on me behind my grammer when making a comment. 😂 I have no doubt in my mind some of the people here who start reading my blogs think, (oh I’ll give her a like, she’s young and may be aspiring to be a writer. Let me encourage this potential writer) 😂 When the fact is, I am not a young aspiring writer, but an old aspiring small business owner. But that’s neither here nor there this was to be about the poem.

Most often I tell me son to “stay gold” he laughs because he knows I’m quoting the movie. If you’ve not seen the movie, I highly recommend you read the book, THEN watch the movie.

Ok I’ve blogged read it at you leisure, enjoy.

✌❤

https://simplegiftshere.company.site/

https://purpleyoda.myctfo.com/

https://kolejax.com/?ref=qnwfpdlfis30